Rules are meant to be broken. That has been my motto for as long as I can remember. Certainly this line of thinking gave my parents their fair share of grey hairs while I was growing up. If a rule didn’t make sense to me, such as only drive a car when you are of legal age with a valid driver’s license, I would make up my own rule at age 13, such as only practice driving skills when parent’s won’t find out. Even today this mindset shows up in my decision making, although I must say that I don’t make it a practice of breaking the law any longer. What I mean is that I still don’t necessarily follow a rule, structure or conventional way of thinking just because everyone else is or I’ve been told to.
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Do you try to set New Year Resolutions every year? If you are like most people, you most certainly do. A few people may actually accomplish their goals, but many people fail. Do you know what all these people have in common?
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Question:
I am stressing out – Should I or shouldn’t I send out my usual Christmas Cards? The truth is in the past, they have been “wow” holiday cards, but this year I am experiencing higher stress than usual due to my recent change of jobs.
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“Wait. What did you just say? You have to be kidding me!” I said to our new book club member Mary. “What does that even mean: Forgiveness is not about the other person; you only have to forgive yourself?”
It didn’t make sense. I didn’t get it. And then, I listened some more.
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“Thank goodness, it’s not me,” I thought to myself watching the psychologist being interviewed on TV about what parents should say to their teenagers about the Michael Brown shooting in Ferguson. It was a tragedy—and not the first of its kind either—touching the delicate topics of racial inequality and law enforcement justice. It had begun with a single shooting and had quickly progressed into weeks of 24-7 news coverage, riots, nationwide protests and FBI involvement. I watched and realized that very well could have been me on TV. After all, my co-author Karen Friedman and I are updating Stop Struggling With Your Teen (Viking Penguin; 1988).
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