Sound Mind Therapy

Question:

I am stressing out – Should I or shouldn’t I send out my usual Christmas Cards? The truth is in the past, they have been “wow” holiday cards, but this year I am experiencing higher stress than usual due to my recent change of jobs.

Answer:

Don’t let stress rule your holidays. What most of us don’t realize is we are playing a game with ourselves. We don’t want people to think less of us, so we cover up that stress by going the extra mile to gain their utmost approval- such as sending out those very wow Christmas cards. After all, no one wants to look like a “slouch.”

Stop for a moment and ask yourself a simple question: What can I do differently this year? My suggestion is to use the “Match and Move” method: Match other people’s style and move to cooperative solutions that are win-wins for all people involved. Here’s what I’m talking about:

When you send out holiday cards, you need to match your friends and relatives. Remember, the onset of Facebook, Twitter and MySpace gives everyone plenty of opportunities to see pictures of families and keep in touch. Those long letters where you describe your life for the past year can be a thing of the past.

With that said, my friend’s mother is 93 years old and loves cards. She is not computer savvy. She is typical of the older generation and displays her cards proudly. Although her hands are crippled with arthritis, she loves receiving them.

Two different types of people, two different needs, two different ways to match them.

Don’t get all caught up in creating the perfect “family picture” for the cards, with the “angel” stamps and the engraved signatures. Instead use Match and Move- capture a casual shot with your digital camera. Send it electronically to those who love the technology that has made it easier to keep in touch today. For the older population, pop it in the mail and make their day!

You will have successfully used the Match and Move Method to reduce your stress and maximize your relationships as well as your time to enjoy the holidays.

For more advice on moving from stress to solution this holiday season, make an appointment or walk in at Sound Mind Therapy. 

Evonne Weinhaus, LCSW, LPC is the co-author of three books – A New Fearless You, Stop Struggling With Your Teen, and Stop    Struggling With Your Child. She is also a certified Imago relationship therapist at Sound Mind Therapy and sought-after speaker. For more information about Evonne Weinhaus, go to Sound Mind Therapy.