by Susie Berg
When you change your story, you change your life.
Each of us carries a private map of how the world works shaped by experience, belief, and emotion. This piece invites you to look beneath the surface of your patterns, to understand how your mind makes meaning, and to rediscover your power to choose a gentler, truer path forward.
Our minds are storytellers. Every moment, we take in roughly two million bits of information from the world around us, yet our brains can only process a tiny fraction of that. What we actually notice gets filtered through memories, beliefs, and emotions from our past. So, we’re not reacting to life itself we’re reacting to the story our mind tells about it.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) helps us become aware of how those stories are formed. It offers ways to manage our internal state, stay resourceful during stress, and respond with greater choice rather than habit. In a sense, NLP helps us shift from running on autopilot to living with awareness which brings more clarity, freedom, and self-compassion.
Every experience we have becomes part of a mental “collage.” From that collage, we draw meaning, and from meaning, we act. Imagine two people about to give a presentation. Both feel butterflies in their stomachs. One says, “I’m terrified I’ll mess up,” while the other says, “I’m excited to share something meaningful.” The physical sensation is the same; the difference is the story. When we learn to question our interpretations, we open up space for new possibilities.
Our attention is limited we can only focus on about seven things at once. It’s like tuning into a single radio station. If your inner station is set to “what could go wrong,” you’ll start noticing every piece of evidence that confirms it. If you shift the dial to “what’s possible,” your mind will begin collecting proof of that instead. This is how the brain’s “reticular activating system” works it curates what we see based on what we expect to find.
Our personality filters also shape what we notice. A security-oriented person looks through the lens of safe or unsafe. Someone who values freedom filters through limited or open. A person who longs for belonging filters through included or excluded. When we step back and see our filters at work, we gain room to choose differently.
The same awareness applies to our habits. Every habit has three parts: a cue, a routine, and a reward. The real “hook” isn’t the routine itself it’s the belief that the habit brings a benefit. For example, someone might smoke because it feels calming. When that person realizes the real benefit is “a moment to breathe,” they can find healthier ways to meet that same need.
Our nervous system is wired to avoid pain, seek pleasure, and conserve energy. That’s why we resist change not because we’re lazy, but because our brain thinks it’s protecting us. When we see that a habit or thought pattern no longer serves that purpose, the motivation to change emerges naturally.
When we meet our patterns with curiosity instead of criticism, something softens. Fear turns into observation. Judgment becomes understanding. And from that awareness, we remember something powerful: we can always rewrite the story.
If you are ready to rewrite your story, please visit our website at https://www.soundmindtherapy.com/ or reach out for more information at 314-948-5307 or susie@soundmindtherapy.com
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